One year of service down, one more to go…

May 5^th this year was not only a day to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, but more importantly, my one year anniversary of becoming a Peace Corps volunteer. I haven’t written in a while and feel like now is the perfect time to reflect back on this past year and share some experiences, thoughts. Of course a short update of my life in Morocco at the present moment is in order, although to be honest… there isn’t much to report. Sigh.

Where to begin… where to begin…

This time last year I was living in Tagleft, Morocco with a Moroccan family. I was enthusiastic about my service even while enduring a two month long struggle with digestive problems, cockroaches, and a less than helpful home stay experience. I looked forward to teaching when school started again in the fall and working with a particular association in my village.

Then as the summer turned into fall my enthusiasm had all but disappeared. Unfortunately, I was having trouble obtaining permission to teach in the schools, the association I wanted to work with never met and weren’t very active in my community, and I was having trouble with my land lord. So after six months in Tagleft, off I went to In Service Training (IST) feeling pretty down, desperate, and unsure of my role here in Morocco. I was looking forward to seeing other volunteers and hoping for a morale boost.

What I got at IST was more than a morale boost, but a whole new site to focus on. After sitting down with my program assistant, he suggested that I move sites and start working in the nearby town of Ouaouizert. I left that meeting so excited and happy that I almost cried from relief when telling my closest friends. I had been struggling in Tagleft and I saw this move as a fresh start and another chance to make my service seem meaningful.

The next month and a half I spent time in Ouaouizert, meeting with a few officials, teachers, and just feeling things out. It seemed like finding work wouldn’t be a problem and that the youth center was looking forward to working with me. I had a lot of hope when I left for my Christmas vacation in England.

I spent two weeks in England with a great friend and her family. This was my second time visiting her and we were able to travel to London, Bristol, Brighton and few other towns. It was a much needed break, but also reminded me of how much I missed home and all the luxuries that I took for granted (washing machines, driving, speaking ENGLISH!).

Upon returning in January, I was stressed and feeling the winter blues. A week after returning I moved sites (with less support from PC than I had hoped for) and if you think moving in the States is stressful, just try moving in a country where you don’t speak the language, but need to find a moving truck (no UHaul here). Oh yeah and paying two rents was really hurting my wallet.

Needless to say things started off slow in the new site. I didn’t have a host family to visit and practice my language with. I was now in a town twice the size of my old site and felt even more foreign than before. I didn’t feel like trying to start work until I was introduced to hospital staff by my Peace Corps manager and that didn’t happen for a couple weeks after the move. All in all… January, February were very slow months.

March was the turn-around month. It started with getting everything in order and planning a trip to Paris. Then March 10^th, I ran off to Paris with a boy and had an amazing time. Who knew that spending five days in Paris was just the pick me up I needed. I came back (reluctantly) but with a new attitude. For the first time that year, I felt determined to try getting work started in site and wanted to branch out and meet my community.

I connected with my tutor, who is a teacher at a school outside of town, and started discussions of establishing a weekly health lesson with his classroom and eventually the other classes at the school. At the end of the month, I taught my first health lesson on brushing teeth and it went really well. I was excited and felt like I was putting my time here to good use.

Then I started meeting with the principal of the youth center almost every week, trying to establish when I could start teaching English classes. He was helpful in the beginning and seemed like he really wanted my help in the youth center. My starting classes, however, depended on meeting with the delegue of youth and sport in Azilal to obtain permission.

April was a busy month starting off with spring camp. I traveled up north to Taza and helped at an English language emersion camp that is run by the youth and sport delegue and Peace Corps. The camp was a great experience. Since I know very little Arabic, I was given the advanced students and was really impressed by their proficiency in English. I tried to make the week as fun as possible for them.

The last day I wanted to focus on American culture and decided to play musical chairs, but exposed the kids to all types of music and mixed in a little bit of grammar practice too. Not only did we listen to everything from Red Hot Chili Peppers to Lady Gaga, but I also taught them a few sweet old school dance moves. I think the kids got a kick out of learning the “Lawn Mower”, the “Sprinkler”, and a few disco style moves. We ended the day with a cultural talk that encompassed everything from how important do you think money is, to how do you value education as opposed to marriage. It was refreshing to talk to enlightened, ambitious, Moroccan teens in a language I understand!

After the spring camp, I spent a few days in another volunteer’s site hiking and helping with some projects. This was another set of projects funded by a group of British teens who came to hike and do development work. This was similar to the project I helped with in October just bigger. It was a nice week away from site and a reminder of what life is like when you’re busy with “work”.

April ended with a visit from my bestest English friend! We only had a week in Morocco and so I tried to pack it in as best I could. We visited Essaouria, Marrakesh, Ouzoud, Azilal, and spent a day in my site. Unfortunately, I was sick and feeling down on Morocco and didn’t feel like I was as an enthusiastic host as my friend deserved. Somehow she managed to put up with me and we still had a good time.

Our last day was spent together in Marrakesh, the day of the bombing in the Djemma el Fna square. I was supposed to spend the weekend in Rome with her, but for safety reasons and the fact that Peace Corps was checking up on all us, I didn’t go. Huge disappointment!!

Now we’re caught up to this month. This month has been full of… reflecting. I have not done another health class, because soon after my first class the teachers were on strike, what felt like every week. Also my tutor never got back to me after the first initial strikes were over and in a way it felt like the enthusiasm I had for starting health classes wasn’t shared like I first thought.

Then the situation with the youth center has been anything but easy. Here’s a red tape, there’s a red tape… everywhere red tape and no help. I tried meeting with the delegue in Azilal on two different occasions and both times he was out of town. Then I asked the principal for the delegue’s number so that I could call ahead. It took him two weeks to get it to me. When I finally called to confirm the delegue was in the office, I had a very awkward conversation in Arabic (my Arabic skills are on par with two year olds by the way). After that I decided to put my foot down and asked my principal to call the delegue for me, explain the situation, and see what he needed from me. I got no response from my principal until I finally tracked him down at the youth center a few days after making the request.

He had failed to inform me that he decided to go Azilal to meet with the delegue himself. He explained our situation and the delegue was 100% fine with letting me work at the youth center. All he wanted was my basic information; he didn’t need to meet with me. So finally everything had worked itself out after a month and a half of trying to start classes…

So I did my first English class last week and the only way to describe how it went is to say it wasn’t a disaster. Was it a good thing? Successful? Um not quite… The time was changed, the kids came late, the language barrier proved to be painfully apparent and frustrating (all the kids are beginner level and only half speak Berber), and before the school year is over I only have maybe two more chances to teach the class again.

So again I put my foot down. I talked it over with the principal (with the help of my English speaking friend) and we decided to cancel the class. Unfortunately, with the timing of the school year and the problems in scheduling, it just didn’t feel beneficial to the kids or me.

Now time for reflection. These last few paragraphs I know it sounds that I’m really down on Morocco right now and honestly yes, I’m disappointed with how my efforts at trying to establish work have gone. BUT over this past year, my patience has grown tremendously and my understanding and acceptance of Moroccan culture puts all these disappointments into a different light. Yes, I would have liked to start the English classes much earlier, but life just moves slower here. Yes, I was disappointed that the principal couldn’t have met with the delegue weeks earlier, but he wasn’t as concerned with the English classes as I was and was in no rush. We all have our different priorities and the timing for starting the English classes wasn’t ideal to begin with.

I’ve come to learn to just expect less here. Set your expectations low and be pleasantly surprised if things turn out well. Now I know that may seem backwards or sad to some people back home, but in reality it’s just a fact of life here. That getting “work” done in the Peace Corps can be frustrating and difficult. Sometimes the greatest part of a volunteer’s service is the cultural exchange and connection they make with their community and host family. With the site change, I haven’t found a way to connect again, to find my place, and feel comfortable, which unfortunately is for me a huge part of being a “successful” volunteer (quotation marks because that can mean so many different things from person to person).

So now that I’m not a wide eyed naïve volunteer, what do I think of this experience and how this year has gone? I came in with low expectations to start projects, but hopeful that I would be teaching and just enjoying the time off from academia to work on myself. I should have set my expectations even lower and been more mindful that Peace Corps is a government run program, with its problems like any other government program. This has been one of the most mentally and physically challenging (dysentery, diarrhea, fasting) years of my life and I’ve had some rough ones… I’ve learned a lot about myself and where I hope to end up in the future. While I mentioned gaining patience, I’ve also gained enormous amounts of confidence. Not as much new technical knowledge as I would have liked, but you can’t have it all.

The bottom line is that as hard and at times frustrating my own experience has been with Peace Corps and Morocco, I wouldn’t change it for anything. When Peace Corps recruits volunteers, they’re right in saying this is a life changing experience. Indeed I would say I have grown. I’ve met some amazing people that hopefully will be a part of my life for years to come. I have a new outlook on the future after this past year. I feel like my need for adventure has only increased and that while life and time are precious, I’m in no rush to start a career, but have a burning desire to experience more parts of the world (just maybe in shorter doses).

Wow this is a long blog, but it does encompass a whole year. Now, my thoughts are consumed with planning for my visit home this summer… they’re so all consuming that I feel like a blog just listing my favorite things about home is in order…